Selfishness

"You must have trust in me no matter where we'll end up to be next year. "

This is what he said yesterday on the bus and it actually left me to ponder about throughout the whole bus trip. I suck at hiding my emotions and I bet he saw it through . I've always tell Lim and Alicia that I've absolutely no faith in long distance relationship.  I don't know why , guess it's because of the past relationship where someone could actually changed so much after an overseas trip. I wish I'm not that sensitive and emotional every time I faced problems. I hate that part of me too. I wish I am so understanding that I won't get jealous about him flirting other girls. I'm so insecure that I pretended that I never seen a thing of him doing it. Who knows what might happen the next day , nothing is permanent and I've learned the hard way.  I need to pick up how to trust someone wholeheartedly because I can't . I'm afraid that one day if that person is gone, a part of me will be gone too. I'm taking this huge step backwards in everything, I need to slowly see the bigger picture first before I know where to go. I might be a little selfish this time and it's unfair to him. I'm sorry, I hope he understands that. 

Again ,  may this week be good for me...

Smile, Angela smile.