Breathe Angela.

In the end , i still find myself here. My blog has always been a very special place for me to visit everytime when i need someone the most. I don't deny i've awesome friends around me , why don't i call or text them ? Well , i believe somethings should be kept inside ..  As much as i hate being a keyboard warrior , i still can't help it. It's my only way out by typing every single shits out here.

Everything seem to be changing , including the people around me & myself. I've been constantly trying and making the effort to let things run smoothly , even if it does not . I'll tell myself , it's okay . Be contented about it & Don't need to broad about it anymore. However , i know i can't be satisfied.

My Life has always been like , that. Even if i did nothing wrong , people will just wanna accuse you for the things you've not done, misunderstood you for the things you did not say .
And as you grew older , you realised that you're trying too hard to make the people around you to be happy , forgetting that it's not possible to please anyone . Worst , you even neglect about yourself.
When my emotional & vulnerable side of me is showing , i'll try all means to hide it back in .

You hate your tears pretending to be strong ,
You cried in the middle of the night hoping that no one will see .
You went for a jog / or play basketball pretending that you wanna have a healthy lifestyle
but the truth is you just wanna tire yourself out.
You're constantly laughing / smiling hoping that no one will notice
that you're actually feeling the reverse .
You keep yourself busy everyday to make sure that you won't think about other bothering stuffs.
You tell your friends that you're tired of school ,
but actually you're just tired of the people around you .
You have to accept whatever nasty words people got to say about behind / in front of you .
as this is reality .
You tolerate all the nonsense and bullshit to the extend that
you vent it all out in whatever you do / say to people
You said you're fine when you know you're already breaking down .

& the list goes on and on .....
And then you're so used to doing the same old thing over & over again .
It becomes like a daily routine you'll do & say anywhere & everywhere you go .

One day , you just couldn't take it anymore..

You eventually broke down .