What's on mind tonight

Confession #1 : I miss Him.  .Sometimes , i really can't help it but to browse through his twitter or fb just to check for his daily updates. Why am i like this then ? I promise myself to forget about him, didn't i? Deep down ,  I hope some of his tweets were still referring to me .  Instead , I want it to be. );  I have this fear , the fear of seeing him around the school , it makes me really nervous rather thus i can't wait to get out of the school everytime.  i prefer to watch him from a far, knowing that he will never realize i'm there.   I dare not look into his eyes anymore. I want to suppress my feelings so that i would forget about him. I've been putting up the "happiest" smile in school , just to let him know that i'm alright.  However , that day , when i unknowingly saw him  , my heart skipped just like before. He've got a smile that could light up my world. Really. That moment , i could still picture it clearly on my mind. My effort of forgetting him are wasted just like that. I force out my smile purposely, had he notice it ? I wonder.  But , deep down in my heart , i really want to talk to him . Just so yknow,  I never had the intention of losing him but the situation dedicates that we can't be .The very least . i'm glad. i knew his gonna work hard for this major exam, and i can't wait for the good news :'> hmm,   I know it isn't a crush . Every feelings of mine towards him is still here. *point to my heart. *

Confession #2  :  I wonder if i'm fit for it. Because of you . I can't really put my mind on ease. Not because i'm scare of you .It is just the hurts & pain .  I know you don't wish to see me , neither do you want me to be there. But , i hope you could just acknowledge it . Surprisely , i could still feel the pain . Months has passed, it is still there , and i'm yet to feel it until today when i saw your face right near me, my heart sank down . Memories of every single shit came flashing onto my mind. I know i can't concentrate well enough afterwards. I shouldn't be feeling this way becus i know we're nothing . But , the scars that you've cause , doesn't heal. I've tried to put up a strong front facing you , and it was pretty well hidden i guess. Yet, the fear and sadness was beyond me.   I'm sorry , but i have to say , i'm good for nothing.

Once & for all . I'm sick of it. );