Crying night

Am i really that useless or worthless , until my father is asking me to go and die. Sometimes , i really cannot take all these shit that's happening to me , everyday when i got home , i'm dead tired physically & emotionally . I still have to wash dishes, fold clothes , dump those trash bags, clear up the kitchen mess .Afterwards, i get to relax a bit after my long standing time. My injury is getting a little bit worser partially due to it. Yet i'm not complaining . I do more than my brother does, i EVEN STILL HAVE to take care of my older brother . If anything goes wrong , like packing the wrong food for them , they give me attitude for that. When i'm sleeping , my father can even call me up to go and buy newspaper or whatever ingredient for him .Do i have a choice , no . He will end up throwing tantrum at me. I'm the one suffering from all these crap , my brother need not get those.

"You said you take care of us , why are you all treating me like an enemy in this family. "  F . When did you ever take care of us ?! 1 week , 30$ per person , week days cook dinner , sometimes also dun have cook , then weekend go gamble. If lost $ , we will all get it , he will slam the door, throw tantrum at us countless of times. Seriously, i really want to have a family day or something, but will i get to have this treatment ?! NO. never. i admit, my tone of talking to you might not be good at times. But can't you just understand ?? School sucks everyday , problems after problems which i bottle it up . EVERYDAY , EVERYTHING IS JUST A PIECE OF SHIT. seriously, give me a break . I really hope i wasn't born here.

You say you regret having us , and ask us to go and die followed by all kind of vulgarities. Well , that moments hurts, though i always been telling myself that its just a waste of space having me here in this world, but i cannot believe that even my father feels the same thing too. Thanks. best .father. ever. 
Times like this , i really need a hug from somebody, telling me that everything is gonna be alright.