我很不服气

I still can't get over this reality yet. Not yet. I thought we can pull through , i thought we can make it . I'm still upset over the defeat . Someone please teach me what to do or how to do to ease the pain within myself.... It kills me more than anything . Slowly , i began to realise that the higher our expectation , the harder we fall .. so it was true in the end. I've let my team down , including graduating seniors. Regrets can't get the better off me . We lost once again . ONCE AGAIN you know.  Twice is enough , how can i take it the next year \; How can everything still be the same next year then ? How can the people in the team still be the same ? How can we still stay this bonded after so much of our up and down.....  yes , i doubt everything now .  I'm just fed up ... Waiting kills.  i don't want to wait. ):     So if you tell me , "Next Year " ,   forget it lah .

I quit trying harder and harder everytime . We sacrifices a lot a lot for this shit and we got something like this  in return . I hope this was a dream , a really bad dream . Can i wake up now ? ):  I don't feel like fighting anymore seriously , i find nothing to convince myself to do so . Time is just too long , effort is just wasted , everything is gone . NO MORE.   Where do i find my next motivation ? I hate school . I hate everything . I hate this ugly truth .  Once its gone , it will never come back anymore , same goes for my passion , my spirit .

I Just Want To Give Up .