No CNY feel at all this year. Absolutely nothing. I just wish to get it done and over with. I don't like the idea of having this festive season. Shouldn't you just spend the reunion dinner with your close ones? Not just uncle or auntie a , b or c? Been bugging me more as I grow older and older. Maybe I might take away the idea of visiting for my kids in the future? Not trying to be unfilial here but I just cannot take it when people are just going for the sake of going. I just want to be happy and feel comfortable... Going home to see my grandparents & cousins for the trip. I really miss them so much, especially my grandparents. Always feeling rather emotional to and fro Malaysia because I don't like the idea of seeing my grandparents aged. I want them to be so healthy that they can live forever. They are both such a kind soul and they deserve more.
The sad thing is, I didn't buy any clothes for CNY which really kinda upset me . The thing is, I don't usually shop for CNY clothes to begin with. Instead, I shop during CNY simply just for pleasure. I don't understand why am I feeling so insecure about myself so much. Just felt that I'm not good enough and I might fail anyone. Hopefully it'll get better with time. Time to get my shit together and sleep.
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