Cherish

So much feelz over friendship tonight. Ended my revision early so this is when my thoughts went wild before I sleep. Honestly, I know I am not a good friend to be with because I am really short tempered and often hurt my friends while I was hurting. I lost two good friends of mine who I used to be so close with. But I learn to dealt with it because both of them just stop trying on me and so am I. 

I'm the most lousiest friend you can ever ask for and it explains why my 'friends' chose to leave me. I am extremely afraid of parting ways with people that I hold closely to my heart because they dk how much I care about friendship's loyalty. I can't deal with another heartbreak. 

So much feelz today because it just hit on me that I got to cherish the good friends I have with me now. Especially my annoying limqianyu that I know I could turn to 12 hours everyday and the never ending rants that I spill out to her once we meet! Then in poly where I have jiajia and violet to turn to. I cannot imagine myself dealing with the ugly side of poly without ranting or even resort in breaking down in front of them. ( which i hate to show that vulnerable side of me to anyone). I thank them for accepting this ugly side of me and tolerating the nonsense I give them every day. I think it is not easy being my friend but they still accept it. 

Just want to thank them for being such a good listening ear and thank your for opening up to me at times when your need someone & of course be all comfortable with me! I hate to say this but I love the both of your the most but you all raise my blood pressure every SINGLE day. Oh my. 

"I would love to have your back forever!" 

^thought of a sweet caption on bed now hahaha! 

Shall end off with a picture of my boyf because this sweetie pie came over to my house just because he miss me <3  poor boy dk how to write a sweet caption but I just have to blame him for that! Hahah EVIL GF GOES TO ME.