Learn to expect little.

I stared at this white blank space of mine once again. It's been awhile since I last blog. Sometimes, I don't know why do I blog I mean like the purpose of typing down my happenings to the readers or rant about certain matters or even getting all emotional here because I have no one to talk to. Right now, I hate this space of mine too much. Am I enjoying sharing my thoughts and feelings to random people? Maybe I should buy my own diary and pen down all my thoughts there instead? I really don't know.  I hate how this space becoming like a memory lane and all I do is to keep hovering my thoughts over the same person that I'm still trying very hard to forget. Probably I had enough of thinking about useless things that only do nothing but made me lose my self-worth. So what if I saw it ? So what if I can feel the presence? So what if I can feel the touch? So what if I cried?  SO WHAT??  Had enough of convincing myself that time will heal because it won't , it only make me feel less upset because I'm numb to it but the pain is still there. The pain just get worse and worse whenever my heart doesn't tell the truth.  I hope I can break out of this cycle soon.

Been travelling to different places alone quite often these days, feel like a loner but I quite like the peace around me. It definitely make me feel less like a burden to my girl friends. I took up another flexible job during the weekends today and I'm quite nervous about it because I'll be working alone besides some days .When I went to apply for this job, I was lost along the way and it make me feel even more panic because the hotel was damn BIG , I was too afraid I might do something wrong and so forth. Hahaha, so much of being a beginner. Thinking positively helps! Slowly, I'll be working alone in the future so it is just a matter of time.  And then again, what's wrong with being alone? It suit me well.