Life had been a bitch all along .Things are not going my way . I am just feeling so down.
Thinking of the past weekends that i've wasted , procastinating , playing a fool , i regretted like a whole lot shit now. Even if i did study for the whole day , nothing goes into my head ! =/ I've been constantly feeling that i'm way far far away , as in its taking forever to catch up on whats suppose to be . How could almost half of my class got A1 for POA ?! I just hadn't done enough . Haiz. Frankling speaking , i takes things slower than others. I absorb /react /learnt blahblah all slower than others. Thats why i tend to take the extra miles to reach certain destination or goals. But , this doesn't bring me down . In fact , it shouldn't . I just got to live with this fact. Though , i've always be chasing behind the rest, never once leading , i don't give up . I work harder, yes i did.
This term sucks , i have the tendency of giving up easily. It was definitely not the usual me . Simple test i can fail ... Its like i work too hard on the advance & forget all abt the basic for trigo , thats why i freaking failed that test. I think i could relate this like playing on a basketball match. When facing weak opponents , we tend to be weaker than them?! Its like how could this be man? Perhaps our mind was not strong enough or we are too complacent . Eventually ,we lost like so unexpected.. Then when we are playing against strong opponents , we played harder than we expected . We've got this strong mindset of overcoming this huge stone that are blocking us towards the champion , tats why we achieve it , we won ! & It was like the happiest achievement we ever had . ( i still rmb that particular match) Yah~ , its like my math test .________. I neglected the small .
Cookies that darlings bake ^^v
(Can't wait for those photos to be uploaded ! , but its gonna be like long long long ~~)
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Yesterday night , I really was touched by the words my father said . How great can he be? :'> He gives me the courage and confidence to face every mistakes in my life . Know why ? Ytd , he walked into my room ... He actually watch me doing my hmk and asked me to be happy. He said " think abt the eoy trip as your motivation , no matter how lousy is your result , i'll support you . Dont give yourself too much stress , let things be , if its meant to be , it will be . " Hearing this , tears welled up my eyes. i just cannot believe simple encouragment like this could mean a lot. Awww... his amazing . Yet another side of it actually drive me to work harder cus of his words. I don't want to disappoint myself. After all , i'm still doing it for myself.
I can say , i hardly had any smiles on my face lately , moody & speechless . I fake it well enough that no one actually sees the pain behind my smile. Its like others had their own problems/stress too , especially on this mye. Thats why i chose to bottled up my sadness or troubles. I know this can't hold long thats why i broke down and just let my tears out till nothing left. I feel much better yeah , and After writing this , I know i'm not facing my problems alone , i have my family ,darlings , my friends , readers & anyone ....with me :)
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