Just for a day , i need to feel everything is right.

I find that i've change for the better and worst during this period. I become lesser and lesser reliant on anybody , i give cold shoulder to others to avoid fake hopes . Every night , i would start to reminiscence everything , yes i do that . I think it had become my daily routine so that i could eventually fall asleep after that.. I smile when i'm with people that care for me , love me becus i dont want any of them to worry and i hate to become a burden to them while they alr had so much problem . Slowly , i find it hard to smile when i'm alone , i guess this is the real me . I really can't find the right words to portray what i truely felt cus its just a mixed emotions of many things that i faced everyday . I hate it when they accused me of something that i didn't do. I'm tired to face it now , i'll avoid for the moment before i thrash it all out someday .



Recently , my friends are all down with stress , sad blahblah , soo,

to everyone ! :D

 I don't dare to face the reality. I want to be someone's best friend always. But i guess its not for long only exception for certain people . I wish to be there for someone when they need me. But I don't have the courage too. Everytime I want to care about the other person, I can't open my mouth to speak those words, or even ask them a simple "how are you?" or "are you okay?".

Yea I sucks. Sucks at being a friend, good or best. And usually I'll give up this job, this position to someone else. Cos I'll always think that they'll do it better than me. But this is the truth. I can't handle both relationship and friendship wisely. I always failed in both. Yea sucks much. I can't toggle them just like how others did, neither can I do well in one. So actually I'm sort of good for nothing. I don't dare to assume that I'm the one that the person currently needs, so when to step in and be a listening ear I don't know, all I'm doing is sit and wait till people come and approach me...

Well, just some words to people whom I care for, I'll probably never voice it out, but hope you'll get it somehow: (don't see already then try not to think too much and think it's not for you or you or you, but yes, if you feel a thing for this post, it's meant for you and you and you and you and you! Lol)

Though I don't speak out, but I'm always looking out for you. Yea silently like a stalker -_- I know what's happening, and I know there's someone who'll pick you up. So I left quietly. If no one comes to pick you up, I will. I'll always put myself in the last choice.