Took some time off my workload to blog because things have been overwhelming for me. Lately, I've been figuring out a lot of things about myself. It is just my first year in poly and I am already experiencing different kind of shits. There are really too much in me that I cannot even put them into words. I cannot stand some of my classmates because they are seriously lack of urgency. Must I keep pushing them and chase after them like a teacher for them to get things done?! I mean so what the due date is next week? Don't they know that last minute work is a No no?!? Seriously... Wake up because nobody is going to spoon feed you guys. I am seriously annoyed by it yet I still have to do everything myself.. Like hello?!? Isn't it your marks too??! Ok enough of that because it is only some classmates in particular. I'm glad for my clique that I can hang out and have fun with in school.
There are so many questions in my head. "How to study?"
"What CCA to focus in?"
"What is the things I enjoy doing."
I really couldn't figure out where to start. It is like starting from zero and I want to try something out. I couldn't seem to find any passion in the CCA and clubs I am currently in or maybe worst basically all the things I do in poly. I must drag myself to attend this and that yet can't seem to feel the belongness to them. I couldn't fit inside them. Can't help but to feel a little down by the fact. I not sure how I want my poly life to be. Maybe this is it. This is all I can be. Argh. So much to think about and make desicions on. So suck.
And then another part of me is thinking about how much longer can I hold on.
No comments:
Post a Comment