21st.

Currently the time now is 3:51pm  , where it's pouring outside and my tears are flowing uncontrollably down whenever I faced the truth.

Somehow , I really do not know how to name this post , so I'll dedicate my #550 post to you , dear. Yesterday was a tough night where I cried so hard , waking up with a tear-stained pillow and hoping everything was just a dream. It's not as if I'm feeling way better right now , in fact no as I couldn't get anything down my throat. My mum asked me what went wrong yet all I could answer her was 'nothing' where I'm yearning for a tight hug from someone so bad. 4 years of getting to know each other better, 7 months of being together. I really do cherish the times spent with you so much . I really love how we could be best friends and lovers at the same time .You're always there for me , and slowly I become so attach to you . You know me the best .

Now, how could I afford to kick the habit of loving you? How could I not call you my dear? How could I start my day without you ? What about all the plans we made for two?  I don't understand why one by one just break my heart over and over again ? Am I a fool to anybody . There's so much I wanted to say over the phone , I tried so hard to control my tears not to fall , and eventually I managed to do it, at least it won't hurt you so bad. 7 months wasn't easy and the fact that we're too young really restricted us a lot. I have to admit and accept. Remember you used to lend me your shoulder to lean on the bus, the times where we went Bugis as a couple,  oh , was it our 5th month where we went Canberra park and play like a kid? I even remembered you sending herbal tea and fever pad right under my block . After playing basketball , you piggyback me home all the way just because I said I'm tired. Honestly, I love to be pampered by you so much that I would act like a kid and rest around your arms or even said those words like 'you don't love me anymore right' just to hear you say more of those mushy words to me everyday :') haha. Sounds pretty ridiculous to please me right? Nevertheless, you still did it , thank you so much for granting my mini fairytales love story . I truly appreciate that. At least we both kept our bittersweet memories that I won't delete anything away cause I believe they are there for a reason . I really hope you could find someone much better than me and love her more than anything :) really.

If we're meant to be , we will be. I should really let time heal my broken heart and I would definitely be more independent because that's what you want me to be. I would be happy outside so that people won't see how vulnerable and pathetic I look.

For the very last time , I love you dear, mlwj  You're the best boyfriend, best friend that I would ever had , you will never be forgotten . Thankyou and Sorry .