It took me quite awhile to name my post as the 'Last Chapter' . I took the shuttle bus from yishun all the way to ssc and then walk home from there. You see , i really need time to think about quite a number of stuffs that has been running through in my head. And i could really say , this long distance does help me in thinking . Sometimes , being alone just feels so comfortable. I need this alone time.
Talking about what happened ytd night. 22:22 . Once again , i was badly hurt. Those fake masks that i use to cover myself everyday has been getting lesser and lesser effective. I can feel myself on the verge of breaking down anytime. Fake hopes, lies , crap , bullshit. I'm sick of it. A number of times, i chose to ignore what Alicia said , & want to believe what you've said . In the end, this is the kind of treatment i'm getting back from you . So , i really feel like a fool . Hate myself . Times like these , i really hope i do not exists and i can just sleep & never wake up .
He said " I know you are heartbroken"
I replied " Nop , not at all . I'm fine. "
{ I was really tearing )'; } I feel as though i'm suffocating . Those memories , i can't forget. Sad that , you just don't feel the way i feel . Admit it , you're just using me , treating me like a toy . I feel like a fool countless of times. Finally, i see no point in anything already . I know me & you will never gonna work in anyhow. Do you think i've a choice or say in whatever you mention ? You come up with everything , end with nothing, walk away & leave me in broken pieces. You're still so self-centered. I'm speechless. I really hope times could rewind back to before your camp. I really miss that you . Where did you go \;
Frankly speaking, I could still feel the lil heart beat that jump when i see you . Those butterflies in my stomach . It's still not getting away . I'm still expecting your msg everyday , thinking that you will change your mind. And when i've got a text late at night, i thought it was you! I opened it up and realised it wasn't. This feeling really sucks.. How disappointed can i get ?=/ Ever tried going to bed with a heart that weigh so heavy that i end up crying myself to sleep . Each night , the same feelings , same thoughts, all about you . These feelings , you will never ever know how it feels like to be. Therefore, The very least , i must stay strong no matter what happens outside. Never will i let my loose end out to you .I don't like sympathy . even though i really am heartbroken inside.
yep, you'll be fine. ;)
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