My faith is shaking

I'm suppose to turn in early today because I was feeling so exhausted after project meeting. But my body just refuse to sleep.

This period of time, I've been constantly questioning things. I feel that my faith is shaking. I thought about my friends, future etc but nothing of some sort I could be sure of. I used to be quite an introvert even when I'm in student councillor.( I don't even know how do I get into so many leadership opportunities back then, I kinda miss them.) 

Lately, I find myself struggling. I used to love making friends but after awhile I gotten too tired of it because I want to have my attention on some and myself. & making new friends would means opening more doors for people. It sucks thinking that one day you'll lose them. Yet after all that has been said, I heard that this is a way of being in your comfort zone. 

I had enough of dramas in my life. I really hope I could free my mind off them. I want to be a nicer person but idk how to do it. I need to stop placing my ego so high up while I am with my friends, I want to less tempremental but then people will go on to say that I've changed. Like where's the bitchy Angela and so fort. 

That's why I'm confused, idk how to start. I want to be happy with myself, care lesser about what others think of

me. I'll try. 

I'm trying to be realistic because it is no longer butterflies and rainbows as I step into another milestone of my life. I'm not a pessimistic person of my future, in fact I'm excited! I do enjoy every moments studying and making new friends. After all, it is all about connections, networking. 

To conclude this, 做人很难. 

Seen this beautiful flowers trending rn? I really wish that I could open up a flower shop of my own when I feel like taking a break from all the work. I want to be somewhere quiet and peaceful. My love for flowers are so strong.